just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
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I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
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The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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