please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
