In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I am naked and annoyed.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
