i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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