Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
