Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
