I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
How's work?
Spinning.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
