The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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