you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
