I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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