I showed him my bush... on skype.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
We have so much sex to catch up on
I just forgot I was standing up.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
