We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Congratulations! We have a period
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize