Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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