I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
