your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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