I am in a vortex of obligation.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
