i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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