P.S. I can't hear my feet
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
