then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
