dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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