i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
