plz talk dirty to me
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
