She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
The feeling are messing with the penis
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
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