so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
