we have officially lost it.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
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