You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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