i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
