If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize
