Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Randomize
