You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize