Dual....:-)
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize
