Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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