If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
