If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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