It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
