when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
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