Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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