They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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