I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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