he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
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