The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Randomize
