4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
