Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
