You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
