im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
