I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
