ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
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threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
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I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
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