you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
