I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
false alarm, still single
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