I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
