Grow some girl-balls and come out already
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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