Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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