Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
40s are totally the cure
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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