i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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