Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
