oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
