So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
