i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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