I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
