I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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