I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
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