brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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