When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
