in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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