We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
All the doctor said was why
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
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