the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
