Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
