i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
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