I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.