did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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