Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (510): View more from California

  watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up

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  (510): watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up http://tfl.nu/2tfb
  Replies (21) Good night (636) Bad night (3063)
• Favorite

  (662): View more from Mississippi

  Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.

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  (662): Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45. http://tfl.nu/maq6
  Replies (40) Good night (6606) Bad night (749)
• Favorite

  (352): View more from Florida

  my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.

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  (352): my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better. http://tfl.nu/j6r0
  Replies (17) Good night (1127) Bad night (5026)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful

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  (608): i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful http://tfl.nu/3xv5
  Replies (4) Good night (1267) Bad night (3166)
• Favorite

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??

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  (250): WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT?? http://tfl.nu/ty5z
  Replies (9) Good night (1307) Bad night (4091)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.

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  (651): If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches. http://tfl.nu/ldak
  Replies (13) Good night (1387) Bad night (2496)
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.

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  (517): this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving. http://tfl.nu/l5cn
  Replies (1) Good night (1352) Bad night (1142)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.

  (1-714): View more from California

  YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES

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  (714): A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you. (1-714): YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES http://tfl.nu/lgqs
  Replies (15) Good night (2236) Bad night (743)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever

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  (775): she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever http://tfl.nu/gkhb
  Replies (11) Good night (701) Bad night (3138)
• Favorite

  (660): View more from Missouri

  The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment

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  (660): The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment http://tfl.nu/9skg
  Replies (5) Good night (1140) Bad night (599)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand

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  (304): I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand http://tfl.nu/6s03
  Replies (10) Good night (903) Bad night (1179)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in

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  (954): I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in http://tfl.nu/4adg
  Replies (4) Good night (967) Bad night (524)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween

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  (860): Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween http://tfl.nu/izhm
  Replies (4) Good night (2287) Bad night (585)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk

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  (908): I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk http://tfl.nu/wvk1
  Replies (6) Good night (602) Bad night (926)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line

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  (850): You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line http://tfl.nu/4oya
  Replies (3) Good night (700) Bad night (345)

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