fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?