Texts From Last Night

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  (631): View more from New York

  Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?

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  (631): Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach? http://tfl.nu/iba6
  Replies (10) Good night (1426) Bad night (566)
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  (323): View more from California

  Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you

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  (323): Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you http://tfl.nu/a4zz
  Replies (11) Good night (894) Bad night (3387)
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  (251): View more from Alabama

  i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.

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  (251): i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend. http://tfl.nu/2rn9
  Replies (9) Good night (692) Bad night (1939)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.

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  (512): last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all. http://tfl.nu/2zyx
  Replies (11) Good night (3650) Bad night (848)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.

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  (908): she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up. http://tfl.nu/hjpb
  Replies (24) Good night (4060) Bad night (1089)
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?

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  (765): Did we both pass out talking about cake last night? http://tfl.nu/lgnr
  Replies (10) Good night (4840) Bad night (975)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you

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  (832): you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you http://tfl.nu/7l95
  Replies (9) Good night (843) Bad night (3306)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.

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  (732): Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million. http://tfl.nu/4jbr
  Replies (25) Good night (1058) Bad night (4183)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.

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  (541): Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached. http://tfl.nu/gtou
  Replies (3) Good night (1667) Bad night (1109)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there

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  (570): I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there http://tfl.nu/1aoc
  Replies (5) Good night (2155) Bad night (654)
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  (661): View more from California

  It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas

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  (661): It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas http://tfl.nu/7a5h
  Replies (9) Good night (1569) Bad night (791)
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  (415): View more from California

  I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week

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  (415): I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week http://tfl.nu/hrh1
  Replies (1) Good night (1087) Bad night (1258)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.

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  (412): So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt. http://tfl.nu/8gk3
  Replies (2) Good night (497) Bad night (1177)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  You need to be more adventurous.

  (1-402): View more from Nebraska

  I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way

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  (402): You need to be more adventurous. (1-402): I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way http://tfl.nu/a4mr
  Replies (4) Good night (1626) Bad night (593)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.

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  (770): I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle. http://tfl.nu/skko
  Replies (0) Good night (920) Bad night (375)

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