Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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