Texts From Last Night

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  (847): View more from Illinois

  I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?

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  (847): I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops? http://tfl.nu/7gnj
  Replies (12) Good night (2998) Bad night (550)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot

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  (214): I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot http://tfl.nu/eus9
  Replies (14) Good night (4567) Bad night (1132)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.

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  (503): My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours. http://tfl.nu/f53e
  Replies (40) Good night (14865) Bad night (955)
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  (510): View more from California

  I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...

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  (510): I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall... http://tfl.nu/htpj
  Replies (17) Good night (6805) Bad night (1996)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke

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  (401): In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke http://tfl.nu/8xdu
  Replies (11) Good night (908) Bad night (4001)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  we're making bets on your personal life

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  (603): we're making bets on your personal life http://tfl.nu/b50k
  Replies (14) Good night (4076) Bad night (1159)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?

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  (813): Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room? http://tfl.nu/bp9i
  Replies (14) Good night (4992) Bad night (2353)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away

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  (801): So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away http://tfl.nu/h2fc
  Replies (11) Good night (5318) Bad night (1084)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...

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  (419): Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great... http://tfl.nu/5p74
  Replies (1) Good night (1512) Bad night (667)
• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.

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  (313): I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others. http://tfl.nu/ph3w
  Replies (6) Good night (1803) Bad night (723)
• Favorite

  (754): View more from Florida

  Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.

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  (754): Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam. http://tfl.nu/he4s
  Replies (35) Good night (1202) Bad night (2409)
• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...

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  (803): thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling... http://tfl.nu/yt8z
  Replies (6) Good night (1300) Bad night (491)
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.

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  (480): All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair. http://tfl.nu/6kun
  Replies (7) Good night (450) Bad night (984)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful

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  (773): He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful http://tfl.nu/kcp3
  Replies (0) Good night (356) Bad night (267)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.

  (310): View more from California

  But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.

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  (310): Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird. (310): But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better. http://tfl.nu/lfnf
  Replies (1) Good night (565) Bad night (238)

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