I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
So much Jack, so little girl.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
