So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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