just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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